Just Breathe ....
Have you ever had a feeling stuck in your gut? The kind that makes you feel all bottled up and castrated emotionally and the constipation of anger entwined by a disgusted lump of anger somewhere struggling to erode the essence of your soul away. The tears sigh heavily resting on your eye lids looking for the lightening to strike and burst down those deep dark eyes. The choked voice lies echos with the sound of your fake laughter and laments every chromosome in your body?
Well.. I have.
I am..
It makes me hard to look at everyone the way i used to a few days ago. In random chit chats, i visualize in my head faces of the same people pointing fingers at me and laughing - OUT LOUD! It makes my heart ache and leaves a part of me in anguish and despise and turmoil. In the little triggered corner, i feel my heartbeat shouting in a caged prison and wanting to run away and hide.
But where can i go? How far will i run? They wouldn't find me, would they? They couldn't seek for the warmth of my affection could they? The should try to build the stairway of communicating, shouldn't they?
And what about me? Don't i have a list of 'could have, would have, should have's'? They say change is constant.. Have i changed? And even if i have, who decides whether it is for better or for worse? Who shuts the voices in my head? Who gives me a hand to get me out of my ocean of agony and despair?
How can feeling isolated even be an option? There are so many colors to see, so many sounds to hear, so many flowers to touch, so many feelings to feel. Its never that bad as it seems, is it?
So I'm getting a haircut, buying a new pair of shoes; wiping out the dried teardrops on my cheeks and strutting out of my comfort zone today. I am going to be my own knight i shining armour. Because in the end I need to change, just like the world around me. And for once i need to go out there and breathe in the shit-hole that i have dug for myself. I wont loose at it - again. I can't. Because there is a happily ever after waiting for me when i come back home tonight.
You have one too....
Just Be the Hero of your own story, and not the distressed heroine - For Once
Comments
Post a Comment